Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
