This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
