Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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