VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
