I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
