so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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