mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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