before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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