4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
