um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
