Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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