My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
