What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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