Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
