Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize