Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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