it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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