I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
