and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
