Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
