I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
