There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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