i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My life is pants optional.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
