Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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