don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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