Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
