i just made my gag reflex go away.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize