I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
