MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
