she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
