i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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