This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
