I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
