After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
