How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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