she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just found puke in my bra..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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