What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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