Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
