also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
