whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
