So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
