sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
