I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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