Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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