My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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