is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
