Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
