Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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