So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
