Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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