this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We have started to decorate penises.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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