one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
