she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
