i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize