So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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