my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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