She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I touched a dick in church today
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
