Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
