bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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