bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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