your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
