Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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