question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
