whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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