oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Bring me that man meat
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
