come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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