i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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