I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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